Billie Lourd will never stop missing mom Carrie Fisher, but she’s smiling through the pain as she experiences the kind of family joy that the late Star Wars icon helped create.
In an Instagram post on Saturday, Billie marked another anniversary of Fisher’s death and shared how dad Bryan Lourd and kids Kingston, 5, and Jackson, 3, exemplify that joy.
“It has been nine years since my mom died,” she wrote. “My daughter woke up earlier than usual this morning, so we went outside together, and she knowingly laid her little head on my chest. She looked up at me with her big, soulful eyes and said, ‘I love you, mama,’ and grabbed my face with her little, chubby hands and kissed me. She does this pretty much every morning, and, dare I say, there is no better way to wake up and no ritual I love more. I told her how much her grandmomby would have loved her, and she looked up at me and kissed me again.”
Later that morning, Billie and Jackson, her daughter, met Bryan for breakfast, and the American Horror Story star watched granddaughter and grandfather running around.
“Watching my dad with my kids is one of the greatest joys I’ve ever known,” she wrote in her Instagram caption. “Then I started thinking about how this joy wouldn’t be possible without my mom. This joy only exists because she existed. So even though she is not physically part of this joy, she is part of the reason for it. Even though she is not alive, she lives on through this joy.”
Billie wrote that her grief over her mother’s death takes many shapes — and that the shape that morning, as she watched her children with her dad, was joy.
“As my mom wisely said, ‘Nothing is ever really over. Just over there,’” she added. “My momby’s life isn’t really over. Just over there — in my kids and in this joy I’m able to experience because of her. Thank you, momby. I will never stop missing you.”
Billie also shared an old family photo of Bryan and Fisher and a new family photo of Bryan with his grandchildren. “These pictures were taken in the same room 25 years apart,” Billie wrote.
