Clea Shearer may seem like she always had everything in order.

It’s not a difficult assumption to make when the public best knows Shearer, along with Joanna Teplin, as a co-founder of The Home Edit — a global home and lifestyle company that set out to reinvent traditional home organizing and merge it with design. From launching bestselling books and a merchandising line and even being acquired by Reese Witherspoon’s company, Hello Sunshine, the duo have showcased their skills much to the envy of those hoping to learn from the organizing experts and perhaps try their varied tips — rainbow color-coding, clear containers and all. The Home Edit was also highlighted in the Emmy-nominated Netflix show, Get Organized with The Home Edit, with their company becoming a household name.

But for someone who may help others get their things in order, Shearer’s life unexpectedly became, well, out of order. In July 2021, Shearer noticed a bump on her breast but didn’t give it much thought. However, over time the lump became lumps, and Shearer’s fears became reality.

“I have breast cancer. It’s a hard thing to say, but it’s easier than keeping it to myself,” she wrote in an Instagram post at the time when publicly announcing her diagnosis.

The moment became the start to what would become a long journey for Shearer, who would learn she had invasive mammary carcinoma (an aggressive form of the disease that had eventually spread to her lymph nodes), undergo a double mastectomy, developed necrosis and endure months of chemo and radiation before breast reconstruction could even begin.

Though starting a new, unknown chapter, Shearer decided to publicly share everything from her decision to shave her head to her varied complications and hospital visits. The candidness and vulnerability became the catalyst for her memoir, Cancer Is Complicated, out Tuesday.

“The second I decided to share everything publicly, all the ups and downs, for me that made my cancer feel really purposeful and gave me a mission. On really hard days, I was like, ‘What I can do, even on this very hard day, is share about it, let people in to what I’m experiencing, and so that they can see all sides of it.’ The real, raw and honest take on what’s going on. That, to me, gave me a North Star and a purpose,” Shearer told The Hollywood Reporter in an interview ahead of her memoir’s release.

Though Shearer’s memoir may chronicle her medical ups and downs thus far including announcing she was cancer-free in November 2022, the journey is still ongoing. Shearer has spent nearly two years in and out of operating rooms, but her recovery has still faced multiple setbacks. On the day Shearer spoke with THR, she was set for an appointment to learn whether she could remove her surgical drains. She later celebrated that day after learning that she was able to remove her drains; however, the feat was short-lived. “Essentially, when my drains were removed on Friday, fluid started collecting in my back. By Saturday there was a significant pocket we were monitoring, by Sunday my back resembled a water bed meets a wave pool, and by the time I was getting ready to roll into the operating room today, fluid started leaking heavily from my breast like a punctured water balloon,” she said in an Instagram post.

“Remember when I said a few weeks ago that I couldn’t believe I had to go back in for emergency surgery? Well, I just had my third surgery in four weeks, and I’m basically starting over. My drains are back, my incisions are fresh, my movement is limited, and there is no timeline for when I will be healed,” Shearer wrote at the time.

As a result, Shearer announced she’d have to cancel her book tour as she recovers. But continuing to share her story, whether it’s the highest of highs or lowest of lows, has become a norm for Shearer and a commitment she has kept. “The days can be really, really hard, but you can get to the other side of it without losing yourself in between. I want to give people hope,” she said.

In an interview with THR, Shearer reflects on first learning about her diagnosis, finding support in friends Christina Applegate and Hoda Kotb, the “shocking” realization she had in her journey and learning to embrace the chaos in the world of cancer.

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You have been candid about your journey on social media, but now to write it in a memoir is something even more vulnerable. Can you take me back to when you decided you wanted to tell your story in book form?

I knew that when I got diagnosed, pretty quickly after the shock wore off, I was like, if I can openly share everything that I’m going through, maybe it will help someone else feel less alone, less intimidated, [and] like they have a friend in this fight who has been through it. When I wrapped up my active treatment, being chemo and radiation, I had this period of time where I felt like enough time had passed that I could be reflective. I was in this moment where I could look forward to the next phase of reconstruction. So I had this window of time, and I went back to thinking [how] I’ve had so many people tell me that it really helped when I shared everything so publicly. And what if I compiled all that information and all the things rattling around in my head and my experience and put it into a book that could potentially be a source of comfort? Something someone could read during chemo, something a friend or a loved one could gift to someone going through this experience, trying to be helpful. I just really felt compelled to try and be that voice, because I didn’t have a voice like mine when I was going through treatment. I was so desperate for information and to feel like I understood a little bit of the process, so that was my goal in doing it. And I have to say it was one of the most rewarding experiences, writing everything down and feeling that complete wave of catharsis was really something. Then getting to do it for my audio book again, reading it was totally different than writing it.

I can imagine it was surreal narrating your journey thus far.

I always laugh and say it’s not very authorly, even though this is like my seventh book, really. I’ve never written a memoir, but I am an author many times over for The Home Edit. But this is so different. I wrote it in my voice. I didn’t write it as a textbook of cancers. I wrote it totally like you’re hearing me speak right now. So reading it actually was like, “Oh, it worked! I’m so glad I achieved what I wanted to.”

Was there anything you were hesitant to share or that made it in that you weren’t anticipating sharing?

Something that was put in the book that I hadn’t shared very much of online was my depression following wrapping up active treatment. I hadn’t really shared much of it in real time, because I felt ungrateful to feel these thoughts and to feel this sense of depression following what I thought was gonna be the best day of my life. Everyone had been rooting for me and cheering for me and supporting me so steadfastly. I really felt a lot of shame in the way I was feeling. They were also really complicated feelings. Again, cancer is complicated. The only way I could relate it to is postpartum depression, because you’re like, “No, this is what I wanted. I’m happy,” but you can’t really access those feelings. And that’s a lot of how I felt. So I didn’t share that much at the time, and I really wanted to dive into that in the book, and in hopes that if anyone else feels those feelings, I wanted them to feel like, “Oh, OK, I’m not abnormal.”

There obviously isn’t a manual or handbook on the right way to fight cancer because everyone’s experiences are their own but throughout this book you do give your insight and best tips for approaching various steps in the journey based on your experience. Why was it important to include that?

At the end of the day, going back to my own profession of being an organizer and at The Home Edit for the last decade, the reason why I love organizing is we are solution oriented, and I feel like it wasn’t enough to just write down my experience. I wanted to also add things that I learned along the way in hopes that maybe someone else could be like, “Oh, I’ll pack a chemo bag like that” or “This is a good way to maybe tell my workplace that I have a cancer diagnosis,” [or] “This is how I maybe could talk to my kids.” I believe all of it is a read it at your own pace, take it or leave it kind of situation. This is like, “Choose your own adventure.” You don’t have to listen to any of my advice, but I wanted to at least put down the things that I found helpful, and I reiterate that through the book that really I can only speak to my experience and I think that I experienced enough universal things that make this book applicable to a lot of people.

So you wrote about how you initially felt a lump in July 2021…

I wish I could definitively say exactly what I felt. It definitely might have raised something and just wrote it off. I didn’t clock it at the time as breast cancer. I just was like, “Oh, I feel something.” I wish I had had the foresight, obviously, to be like, “Wait. What is this?” I truly, truly wrote it off. Do I regret that everyday? Absolutely.

During the time period from when you first felt something to the more distinct lumps, was there ever a moment in your mind where you were second guessing your decision to not look into it further? Or were there any indications that there was something off that you could recall during the time period?

The thing that’s crazy is when I tell you I didn’t officially really clock anything in that moment in July. So it’s not like I made a decision to not look into it. It was not a thought in my head. The only reason why it came into such crystal clear view in February of 2022, when I felt my lump, which were actually lumps, was I just turned 40. I was like, “Oh, I’m due for a mammogram.” And wait a minute, these are real lumps. It was that moment that I kind of remember feeling something back last summer, and that’s when I kind of pieced it together that I don’t think this is the first time I’m feeling something. They were much more prominent at that point.

You write about learning about your diagnosis and the fear and the unknown that quickly followed that, but you immediately wanted information and communicated it to various people. You mention people like Christina Applegate, Reese Witherspoon and Hoda Kotb as people you spoke to about it, with Christina in particular seemingly giving insight and advice. If you don’t mind me asking, what were some of the best insights or advice that she offered you at the time that really helped?

So Christina is a very old friend, and I’ve sat with her so many times discussing her journey through breast cancer before I certainly ever had it. And when I called her, I just really broke down in tears, because she’s someone that I can cry with. It wasn’t even that she was trying to give me advice. She was really just trying to hug me over the phone and let me feel my feelings. And she imparted, of course, just like I think a lot of us do, we’re not telling anyone what to get. We’re just telling what we chose to do. And for her, it was a double mastectomy. Her mother had breast cancer, and she [has a BRCA gene mutation], so she was just like, “I want it all gone. I don’t want any chance of it coming back. I want it all gone.” I actually really took that to heart. It was one of the reasons why I opted for a double mastectomy instead of single. My cancer was only on my right breast, but I just felt like if it could happen on one side, it could happen on the other side. She offered a lot of things that I could ask the doctor, just questions that she has asked many times over, and she’s counseled so many people over the years. So that was really helpful, too. She’s the best and I love her.

I got a lot of great advice. Hoda [Kotb], she told me a couple things. She held my hand when I first told her, and she said, “I know a lot of breast cancer patients and survivors, people who have gone through this disease, and you know what I can say about all of us? We’re still here. And you’re gonna be too. You’re gonna get to the other side of this.” It meant the world to me. I remember all of these initial early conversations I had with every single person that I decided to tell. It helped get my mind right.

You wrote that were the most afraid of chemo out of everything. Was that because of stories you’ve heard about it and what you’ve seen in film and TV or why was that what scared you the most?

I don’t think Hollywood has done us any favors in terms of being afraid of chemo. Like it looks absolutely horrible. Everyone’s either hooked up to an IV in a metal chair in a dark room. They always make it dark gray or throwing up. Those are the two ways they showcase it. Mostly with chemo, I was terrified of losing the quality of my life. I don’t stop. I work all the time. I travel all the time. I loved my life, and I couldn’t imagine losing it. I was really scared that I was going to be in a bed all day, every day, and throwing up and just too sick to do anything. I tell people in the book, and I tell people all the time when I speak to them, that I was shocked to find out that I had many more good days than bad days, that my good days outnumbered my bad days, actually, by quite a bit, and that I wish I had known that. I didn’t have to be afraid of the quality of my life. I had some really sick days, I had some really rough days, but I had more good ones, and that was shocking to me. I could still see my friends and go to restaurants and smile, laugh, actually enjoy myself. That was a shock. I really hope that other people experience that too. Again, it’s only my experience, but I have now have so many people in my life and in my sphere, even strangers who have gone through this, who have similar experiences. So I think that there is some truth in that beyond just what I experience. I do not want to go back but I got through it and it wasn’t as scary as I expected. I wasn’t a pit of despair the entire time, which is definitely what I was picturing.

In one moment of the memoir, you write about deciding to shave your hair off and that rather than see it as a painful event, you framed it as an emotional milestone. Can you talk about making that decision and how you went about learning to embrace it and find a way to feel beautiful?

I believe very strongly about control the controllables. You have to many times in a cancer journey have the wisdom to know the difference. You really do have to know when you need to just let things take its course and not try and over manage things, because that’s impossible, but if you can, control certain outcomes. For me, that was really helpful, and I didn’t want to experience my hair falling out in the shower. I just didn’t want to live that trauma minutely and daily. So I decided to shave my own head, with the help of my friends and my husband. And I am really glad that I did. I am looking in the mirror, I am shaving my head while I’m looking. This was my choice. This was my decision. And I look OK. That was kind of how I went about it. I knew it was going to come out. I was on really significant treatments, there was just no chance.

After writing about your time going through chemo and radiation, you later write about being able to ring the bell and being declared cancer-free at the time. Can you reflect on that moment?

I was just met with this wave of emotion. My husband walked into the radiation room, which he had never been in before because you’re not allowed to go into radiation rooms. He sat with me through chemo, but he had never seen any of this and I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Looking back at that moment, I wasn’t just doing cartwheels and so excited. It was more of like an emotional release. I immediately expected to just feel elation and that feeling didn’t come. And that’s when I was like, “Oh, it must be the shock.” But I think that what I was feeling was I knew I was still on this journey. I knew that just because I rang a bell doesn’t take away all the feelings and trauma, fear and trepidation of everything to come. I think that those things were warring in my head, even though I didn’t know it at the time. I do think that I knew in my heart and my head that I was going to be on this journey for quite a long time, and was starting a new phase, which was also an unknown. Not know how my body was going to react moving forward. So it was really complex, and again, very complicated.

You write that what scared you the most about cancer wasn’t the prospect of dying but rather losing your life in a different way and the quality of life being negatively impacted. But in recollections you also write about how you were able to have great time spent with your mom, read a lot, have Taylor Swift listening sessions and spend a lot of time with your family. When writing about your journey, were you able to gain a new perspective of whether the quality of your life was negatively impacted when looking back at that time?

Absolutely, and it’s the reason why I named the book, Cancer is Complicated, because it is simultaneously the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and also moments and experiences I never would have had. It was really hard. You suffer when you go through chemo and radiation. But I couldn’t imagine being closer to my mother, and somehow we became closer. I couldn’t imagine feeling more love for my husband, who is the actual best human being in the world, and yet, somehow we connected even deeper. It was surprising. It was these layers of, like, “Wait a minute. Right now in this moment on the couch watching a movie with my mom, I’m happy. I can feel happiness. How is that possible?” I never would have slowed down. And in fact, at that moment in my life, it was we were really ramping up to have the biggest year ever. I never could have anticipated feeling at peace was slowing down, feeling in a lot of comforting moments, extra love and things that we did that made us laugh. When I sat down to think about this book and my take on my experience, my flexion on it was that, God, this disease is so complicated because so many things happen at the same time, so many things are true at the same time and I think that while you’re going through it in the moment, all that can feel really confusing. I hope to kind of dissect some of the mental gymnastics that you go through with this disease. Cancer is unpredictable. That’s the sequel.

As someone who is known for helping organize and creating a place for everything, how would you say that having to experience something that does not have order and can change at any given moment changed how you operate in your day to day? Do you feel more able and willing to embrace a sense of chaos and instability?

My first line in the book, and I’m paraphrasing, is if you’re a person who likes to control things, cancer is not the disease for you. Let me tell you, that’s true. I’m a planner. I know everything that’s happening. That’s why I went on this fact-finding mission before my treatment and everything started, because I was just desperate for information. I was desperate to be able to catalog things in my brain of a sequence of events and what I would need. Immediately just everything goes out the window, because cancer is unpredictable, and something that you’re pretty certain of completely changes at every single turn, even right now today, after we are done, I’m going to the doctor to see if I can hopefully finally, get my drains out from my last surgery a few weeks ago. No one has drains in this long. I’ve never had drains in this long. The surgery I had three weeks ago, I ended up back in the ER a day later, because I had a hematoma and my body wasn’t accepting the surgery. Even just today is unpredictable. I do not know if I’m going to get my drains out when I go to the doctor. You just have to give in to the not knowing. Do I embrace chaos? No. But do I have a choice? No. But I embrace it in the world of cancer. I will say that I have learned cancer is very humbling. That’s the third book.

[Editor’s note: Shearer opened up on social media at the time that despite getting her drains out, complications arose that resulted in her having drains again.]

When readers are able to read this memoir, what do you hope they take away from your story and did you take away anything from writing this?

I hope that this book provides comfort, and I hope that this book provides kind of almost a positive outlook on this journey. The days can be really, really hard, but you can get to the other side of it without losing yourself in between. I want to give people hope. I want people to see the nuance in what they will likely be going through. I believe that staying positive and focused really, really helped me. I want people to find their North Star too.

Cancer Is Complicated is available now.