Jen Hatmaker‘s new memoir, Awake, is creating headlines with its discussion about the breakdown of her marriage, and now her ex-husband, Brandon Hatmaker, is sharing his side of the story.

As reported earlier this week, according to the New York Post, Jen wrote in her book that on July 11, 2020, at 2:30 a.m., she woke up to the sound of Brandon whispering on the phone to another woman. She said he smelled of booze, and before he drifted off to sleep, he whispered, “I just can’t quit you.”

That moment was “the end of my life as I [knew] it” Jen added, noting that she kicked Brandon out of the house the next morning, effectively bringing an end to their 26-year marriage. The former couple married in 1993 and went on to welcome five children, two of whom were adopted from Ethiopia. They founded the evangelical Austin New Church in Texas in 2008 and hosted the HGTV series My Big Family Renovation in 2014.

On Monday (September 22), Brandon posted a lengthy response on Substack, sharing his side of the story, as well as making it clear that his current wife, Tina, is not the woman he had an affair with.

“The lowest moment of my life was my very public affair five years ago. I caused so much pain and I brought so much humiliation into the lives of people that I loved,” Brandon wrote. “It was the culmination of a three-year personal spiral in which I had lost my anchor, felt no hope, and was the loneliest I’ve ever been in my life.”

He continued, “While that was the lowest moment of my life, a very close second, is having to relive it today. Even harder, to watch others who I love – because of my failures – having to do the same. I’ve owned my mistakes, I’ve made amends, I continue to do the work, I’ve worked hard to restore relationships, and I’ve started over.”

Brandon said his post isn’t about making “excuses” but simply to “add context to a handful of areas where the vast majority, and nearly every new follower, is missing.”

“There are no excuses. Nothing can make this wrong a right. But I do hope it to be helpful if some of you find yourself in my story. Maybe it will save you some heartbreak,” he stated. “The truth is that people in a healthy marriage don’t just wake up one day and decide to have an affair. I didn’t fall out of love overnight. Our relationship was coming to a slow and painful ending. And I privately mourned the death of our marriage years before our divorce.”

He added that “Jen has every right to share her piece of the story,” but noted that “there are some truths left out that paint a false narrative on topics that are truly important to me. I’m not saying what she wrote is untrue. I’m saying that what’s left unsaid isn’t her responsibility to tell. The only one who can do that, is me.”

One thing Brandon wanted to clear up was his relationship with his children. He wanted readers to know he didn’t abandon five young children at the time of the affair.

“To be clear, at the time of our divorce we had three adult kids and two teenagers,” he said. “I know that I forever changed their story, but I was always available, was constantly engaged, and always supported them… and still do.”

He also disputed being a pastor at the time of the affair, claiming, “It had been years since I had been a pastor. In three years time, I had become a very broken and lost man who had given up.”

Brandon also responded to claims that he was “cold” or “uncaring” after the affair was exposed, writing, “On the early morning everything happened, Jen gave me the ultimatum to share the entire truth right in that moment, I just remember not wanting to say anything that I couldn’t unsay, so I left. After a day or two we sat down and I shared everything.”

He also revealed it was Jen who told him, “‘There is no path back to reconnection.”‘

“That closed the book for me,” he said. “From that moment on my focus was my kids and my future. Not long after that I met Tina. She may have saved my life. Not figuratively, but literally. That’s another story I hope to share one day.”

Brandon also reiterated that “in no way was Tina involved or a part of my divorce in 2020,” noting, “Jen verifies this in her book. To be clear, Tina and I had never met until after the divorce was filed. This was also after Jen told me that for her ‘there was no path back to reconnection.’”