Aubrey Plaza detailed her grief journey in the wake of husband Jeff Baena’s death on a new podcast episode.
The actress broke down the “daily struggle” to Amy Poehler’s “Good Hang” listeners Tuesday.
“Right in this very very present moment, I feel happy to be with you,” the 41-year-old, whose partner died by suicide in January at age 47, explained. “Overall, I’m here and I’m functioning.”
Plaza noted that she was “very grateful to be moving through the world” and felt “OK.”
She went on to compare her mourning experience to the “Gorge” movie, which features two snipers guarding a gorge without knowing what’s inside.
“That’s what my grief feels like or what grief could be like,” the “White Lotus” alum said. “At all times, there’s, like, a giant ocean of just awfulness that’s just right there and I can see it.”
She continued, “Sometimes I just want to dive into it and be in it. And sometimes I look at it and sometimes I just try to get away from it, but it’s always there.”
The Emmy winner and Baena began dating in 2011 and got married while quarantining amid the coronavirus pandemic.
The duo spontaneously tied the knot in tie-dye pajamas to celebrate their 10th anniversary.
The pair, notably, were separated when Baena died.
The Golden Globe nominee and Baena separated in “September 2024 when [Plaza] moved to New York,” according to Los Angeles County Department of Medical Examiner’s March report.
Plaza, along with the screenwriter’s family members, issued a joint statement following Baena’s tragic passing.
“This is an unimaginable tragedy,” they wrote. “We are deeply grateful to everyone who has offered support. Please respect our privacy during this time.”
Plaza made her first public appearance at the “SNL 50” anniversary special the following month, paying tribute to her late partner with a tie-dye shirt.
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.