It’s in this episode that we come to understand Big and Carrie’s dynamic for exactly what it is… with the help of Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. The women are talking about Big’s engagement to the twenty-something-year-old Natasha, who is tall, brunette and, in their words, “plain.” They make a direct comparison to the 1973 film The Way We Were, and Carrie decides she is exactly like the over-complicated Katie (also, she notes, a fellow curly-haired girl). She is too much for Big, a man in need of a simple partner. It all culminates in a rather oddly-choreographed scene where Carrie reaches out to touch a confused Big’s face, quoting the movie: “Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.” Famously, he doesn’t get it. But something in Carrie has healed, and the world’s complex women are validated.

In true Miranda and Steve fashion, the pair get engaged over $3 beers while getting lunch. But it’s Sex and the City we’re talking about, so the focal point of the episode is Carrie getting the ick from Aleksandr Petrovsky. Once again, the show goes above and beyond in its dedication to depicting all of the dark corners of the female experience, and that includes suddenly feeling a bit grossed out by your hot, Russian boyfriend. Obviously, she forgives him when he gifts her a stunning Oscar de la Renta gown for the opera. When Samantha gets checked ahead of her planned breast augmentation, she is diagnosed with breast cancer. What happens in the last 10 minutes of “The Ick Factor” is excellent writing: Samantha, calm and composed, breaks the news to Carrie on the way to Miranda’s wedding. But Miranda demands they talk about it at the reception, forfeiting her “perfect” day if it means being able to support her friends: “You are my people and we’ll talk about it now. Start at the beginning.”

This episode makes the list for the sheer masterful craft in writing that we’re privy to when Carrie’s on her way to her first date with Big. We’re four episodes in with these women and this cab ride paints them exactly as they are, for us — the audience — to gobble up and digest. Charlotte, a romantic, is shocked by her new boyfriend’s request that they have anal sex. Carrie collects the girls on the way, much to Charlotte’s chagrin. Miranda, forever the realist, is pragmatic: “If he goes up your butt, will he respect you more or respect you less? That’s the issue.” Samantha chimes in, in true party girl fashion: “This is a physical expression that the body was designed to experience — and P.S., it’s fabulous.” In one simple scene, we know these women like friends. Charlotte responds: “What are you talking about? I went to Smith!”

Step right up, step right up as Carrie works her way through the twisted men of New York. It’s an apt analogy for the complete lottery that is the modern dating pool, and taps into all of our biggest fears about putting yourself out there: who is this person, really? Thankfully, Ben (a showstopper of a heartthrob, played by Ian Kahn) surprises Carrie, whose previous run-ins with the city’s clowns have turned her into a hyper-paranoid freak, too. There’s so much more to this episode that makes it indicative of the brilliant, semi-debauched television Sex and the City offered up so effortlessly: Charlotte dates a man called Mr. Pussy, known for his talents in the cunnilingus department. Samantha, meanwhile, wants fat from her butt injected into her face.

Carrie falls, spectacularly, on the runway for a charity fashion show. When an actual model follows up behind and awkwardly steps over her — “she’s fashion roadkill!” — we see Carrie at her very lowest. But she picks herself up and holds her head high at the end of the catwalk. The Venn diagram of Charlotte and Samantha overlaps wonderfully when Charlotte, who has been told by the doctor that her vagina is “depressed,” works up the courage to get a good look at her vulva in a mirror. Simultaneously, Samantha has nude photographs of herself taken to hang around her apartment. But best of all is Miranda, completely dumbfounded by a man at the gym who calls her sexy — Cynthia Nixon is so charming when she’s wielding Miranda’s intelligence to feel confident.

Carrie comes to see her affair with Big is nothing but secret sex in seedy hotel rooms, and it all comes to blows when Natasha walks in on her at their apartment. She chases Carrie out, and after tripping down some stairs and chipping her tooth, Bridget Moynahan brilliantly improvises trying to lock Carrie out of the cab on the way to the hospital. Finally, Carrie is confronted with her humility — or lack thereof, and we see some semblance of remorse. This is after she’s had a blunt telling off from Miranda, of course (those two are at their best when sparring). Elsewhere, we meet wedding planner Anthony Marentino (Mario Cantone) for the first time. Samantha meets the male version of herself, but is spooked when he asks if she’s had an HIV test. Here, the show — set in New York at the turn of the millennium and written by openly gay men — offers up our only glimpse into how stigma and fear around the disease still loomed large.

Enter, Aleksandr Petrovsky. Mikhail Baryshnikov makes his debut as “the Russian,” cold, artistic and sultry. But it’s Kristin Davis who shines in “One.” Charlotte proudly declares she’s three weeks pregnant after a long time of trying with Harry, but later miscarriages. She sits emotionless on her sofa, and Carrie runs to be with her friend, though is unable to provide her solace. While this is happening, Miranda is facing up to her feelings for Steve (aided by a giant “I Love You” cookie given to her by an out-of-this-world handsome Dr. Robert Leeds), and Samantha is experimenting with a “full bush,” per Smith’s preference. Unable to drag herself to Brady’s first birthday party, Charlotte finds inspiration in the story of Elizabeth Taylor, and pulls herself out of the haze to put on a Taylor-esque pink dress and march to Miranda’s house. She tearfully, bravely, joins in the celebration. Steve tells Miranda: “You’re the one.”

“She shoe-shamed me.” Carrie Bradshaw, defender of childless women everywhere, earns her right to splurge when she puts up a fight against a friend. Kyra (Tatum O’Neal) refuses to pay for a pair of Carrie’s Manolo Blahniks that go missing when Kyra requests guests remove their footwear for a party. Carrie tells her they cost $485, and Kyra says she shouldn’t have to fund Carrie’s lavish lifestyle. Carrie tries to reason, asking her to recall when she wore Manolos too, but Kyra responds: “Well duh, that was before I had a real life.” Viewers rightly argue that Carrie be allowed to live her life however she likes — whether she has children or not — and Kyra should not be shaming her for it. Kyra eventually coughs up with a new pair of Manolos in an episode dissecting money, agency and motherhood.

Released after 9/11, “I Heart NY” swiftly became a poignant tribute to the people of New York. Viewers often joke about the city being the show’s “fifth character,” (I recall this even being poked fun at in a Brooklyn 99 episode), but it’s true and never more apparent than in this episode. Carrie poetically voice-overs about the crisp, fall air swooping into the city and is devastated to find out that Big is leaving for Napa. Big is New York, so this bombshell blows her head off, but it also gives us a tiny bit of insight into Big’s childhood when the two dance to old records together while packing up his apartment (anything to humanize the man, please). Richard begins to chip away at Samantha’s defenses, and Miranda and Steve bring baby Brady into the world. Our gals are growing up!

How did Sex and the City know that 20 years on, insecure men would still be finding the most cowardly methods possible to dump women? The infamous post-it, which Berger uses to break up with Carrie, captured singlehood hell in all its glory. She rightly decides that break-ups are far too easy for men, though women are always expected to have gone through some kind of personal development in the wake of an unsuccessful relationship. At the same time, Miranda is serving up major relatability by freaking out over fitting back into her skinny jeans. The women celebrate at the opening of a hot new club, Bed, where Carrie can’t help but confront Berger’s friends. We cringe because we are her, deep down.

Aidan returns and he’s totally rocking the short hair. Carrie attends the opening of his and Steve’s new bar, Scout, and decides she wants to revive their relationship. But John Corbett’s performance is one for the ages: reserved, resentful, reflective. His heartache bubbles under the surface for the episode’s duration (“You BROKE my HEART” is the next episode). Miranda tells the girls that she thinks a ghost is haunting her apartment — it’s a little on-the-nose, but there’s something about the metaphor, perhaps Nixon’s frightful tiptoeing, that gives the unfinished business between her and Steve (and Carrie and Aidan) a real, gnawing sadness to it. Charlotte goes shopping for beds with the MacDougals, and Frances Sternhagen is, as always, utterly enchanting as Trey’s mother Bunny. “This is diviiiiine,” she tells Trey; Sternhage and Davis settle into a fantastic season-long stand-off.

Bill Kelley, come home, the kids miss you. This episode was the best of Sex and the City: Carrie is in total First Lady mode — outfits and all — as she continues to follow “the Politician” (a wonderful John Slattery) on his campaign trail. He remains one of the only men she dates across the series to rival Big in power and NYC prominence. Miranda is dealing with the fall-out of Steve adorably asking her to “go steady” and Samantha is coming to terms with seeing a very, very short man. There’s something oddly elegant about the intersection of sex and politics in Carrie’s world, a subject so ripe for juicy material. But as soon as the show dips its toes into fetishes, her prudish nature takes control and she dumps Bill for asking her to urinate on him in the shower. You’re a sex columnist, Carrie! Still, it’s in this episode we get the fabulous Samantha Jones line: “I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.”

Carrie is reeling from her first Big break-up — literally — but we’ll still not forgive her for fumbling one of the most eligible men on the entire show. Mark Devine plays the perfectly shy and ridiculously handsome “new Yankee,” Joe, at a baseball game Miranda drags them to. The four of them sat on those bleachers is an iconic scene: our cynical redhead is screaming at the umpire while the other three drink, wallow and talk about balls. Somehow, Carrie gets Joe’s number and takes him to the Dolce & Gabbana party where we see her in a fabulous (one of her best) blue dress, and, reportedly, her beloved “Carrie” necklace for the first time. It’s the perfect SATC episode: fun, fashionable, flirty — and surprisingly affecting. Darren Starr & Co bring it home in the final act, when after weeks of fearing the worst, Carrie’s vision quite literally blurs as Big strides up to her while out with Joe. It’s the first time they’ve met since they called it quits, and there’s no hiding from that familiar, gut-sick sting of running into your ex. Heartbreak, eh?

Devastating performances from Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall anchor this episode. Carrie and Aidan begin to brawl with a candidness we’ve never seen before, but everyone’s problems are dwarfed when Miranda rings from Philadelphia to say her mother had a heart attack and died. Amidst sheer panic — Samantha worries she’s “lost” her orgasm and Carrie frets about her broken laptop — Miranda is reckoning with never seeing her mother again, aptly depicted when she tussles with a bra shop assistant: “I think I know what’s best for me!” Samantha, despondent and seemingly incapable of showing any second-hand grief for her friend, comes to learn she has her own issues with mortality to confront. “I’m sorry,” she mouths to Miranda when they lock eyes at the funeral. “Thank you,” Miranda responds. They’ve always silently understood one another.

It wouldn’t be a complete SATC highlights list without the finale. Smith continues to prove why he is undoubtedly one of the show’s best men by supporting Samantha through the ups and downs of chemo. She tells him he’s meant more to her than any man she’s ever been with. After being let down by a couple who decide to keep their baby, Harry takes a call from the adoption agency and tells Charlotte there’s a little girl in China in need of some parents: “That’s our baby!” she cries. Elsewhere, Miranda shows up for Steve in the biggest way yet by giving his sick mother a place to stay and be cared for. Carrie isn’t coping in Paris and things worsen exponentially when Petrovsky mistakenly (?) slaps her. Luckily, Big comes to the rescue and this years-long situationship comes to a satisfying close (not before Big jogs around a Parisian hotel looking for a Russian to punch). It’s a fairytale ending for our shoe-obsessed writer.