In a recent podcast, Anupam Kher reflected on his decades-long marriage to Kirron Kher, calling the idea of compatibility overrated. He acknowledged not having “the best marriage in the world,” admitting to hurting his wife at times, and noted that it’s natural for passion to fade and relationships to feel exhausting over time.
Anupam Kher on marriage with Kirron Kher: “Exhaustion is a part of any relationship”
Speaking on Raj Shamani’s podcast, Anupam Kher shared his thoughts on modern relationships and the evolving nature of love. He said, “The moment you find a person who is 10%, 20%, or maximum 30% (on your wavelength) get married to them. Discover the relationship afterwards. Love is the most confusing emotion in today’s time. You live with somebody, or you are in a relationship with somebody to discover what kind of person they are. But there is no sense of amazement, there is no sense of wonder about that person. I think a relationship should (turn into a marriage) when it is still being discovered. The rest of the things can be discovered over life.”
When asked whether he truly believes compatibility shouldn’t be determined before marriage, Anupam Kher responded, “How long have your parents been married? Did they look for compatibility? Did my parents look for compatibility? I like to accept people as they are, and I like people who want to explore. I just feel, kya ukhaad loge compatibility dhoond ke (What will you achieve by looking for compatibility)?”
Reflecting on his own marriage, Anupam Kher said, “I accepted the fact that there will be failures in life, and that you have to work at yourself. That’s why I have achieved success both professionally and personally. It’s not like I have the best marriage in the world.” The video then resumed with him adding, “Exhaustion is a part of any relationship. At some stage, that so-called fire may disappear. But memories will remain, and your intention to work on the relationship will remain. That is what has remained in my relationship. I know I have hurt her sometimes, but what I have kept alive is my respect for her, my compassion, and my togetherness of emotion.”
Anupam and Kirron Kher married in 1985, after her separation from Gautam Berry, with whom she has a son, Sikandar. In a recent interview with Shubhankar Mishra, Anupam admitted he sometimes misses not having a child with Kirron. “I didn’t feel it that much before, but now sometimes I do feel like it. I think in the last seven-eight years. It’s not like, I am not happy with Sikander, but I think it’s a joy to see a child growing up. It’s a joy to see bonding and this is an honest answer to you. I could have avoided to answer this, but I don’t want to do that. But it’s okay. It’s not a tragedy in my life. But I sometimes feel it would have been a nice thing,” he shared.
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