Jimmy Kimmel kicked off the monologue for the Monday, June 16, episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! by discussing Donald Trump‘s military/birthday parade two days prior. The event was thrown to celebrate the U.S. Army’s 250th birthday, but coincidentally fell on the same day Trump turned 79.
After referencing the NBA finals matchup between the Indianapolis Pacers and Oklahoma City Thunder, Kimmel joked, “We’re one step closer to finding out which winning town, either Indianapolis or Oklahoma City, will host a much bigger parade than our president’s G.I. Joe-themed birthday party.”
He continued, “On Saturday, Trump had his much-anticipated stupid sweet 16, disguised as a tribute to the U.S. Army he bone-spurred his way out of.” Kimmel called the $50 million event “boring” and compared it to “when a 5-year-old shows you every version of car in his Hot Wheels collection.”
While referencing one of the event’s corporate sponsors Scotts Miracle-Gro, a lawn seed company, the talk show host said, “It’s the product Trump uses on his head. There were flyovers, there were combovers, the whole thing!”
Kimmel mentioned that there was “all this talk” about how the parade wasn’t for Trump’s birthday, but noted that “it kind of seemed like a birthday party for him.” He then cut to a shot of Trump seemingly dozing off during the firework show. “There’s sleepy Don taking it all in,” he said. “In fairness, that’s as close as he gets to being able to sleep with his wife, so he took the opportunity.”
Another clip of the president and wife Melania Trump was shown later. In the footage, he seemingly tried to lock their pinkies together, but she pulled away. “This almost makes me feel bad for him,” Kimmel began. “Almost. So it’s his birthday, and while there’s no reason for us to be paying to celebrate it, you’d think his wife might celebrate it. Well, look at this. He makes a little move to lock pinkies and … nope. It’s known as the Slovenian snub.”
Kimmel continued the monologue by mocking Trump’s mispronunciation of various words during his speech at the ceremony. He added, “The turnout was much lower than expected, but as Trump would say, there were record-breaking crowds. The bleachers, as you can see, are almost empty. The crowds were sparse.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Weeknights, 11:35 pm ET/PT, ABC