I’m something of a freak for musicals even when they don’t star Jennifer Lopez, so you can imagine how I feel about Bill Condon’s upcoming big-screen adaptation of Kiss of the Spider Woman. Set in a prison during Argentina’s Dirty War, the film, which had its world premiere at Sundance earlier this year, features none other than J.Lo as a fatally beautiful screen actress (what a stretch!), and it’s due out in theaters this fall.
Watch the first teaser trailer for yourself below, then find (literally) every thought I had about it below.
- Blonde J. Lo? Va va voom!
- No, seriously, I’m…quite into this.
- She’s looking like Sabrina Carpenter from the back!
- Although not hitchhiking in jean shorts, unfortunately.
- The people have yearned for J. Lo in a musical again.
- “I couldn’t live without movies.” Same.
- In my opinion, this film is inherently and canonically linked to Dakota Johnson’s mom researching spiders in the Amazon in Madame Web.
- Fedora and cigarette is such a look.
- I mean, smoking is bad!
- Don’t smoke, kids!
- Do the kids read Vogue.com trailer recaps?
- Also, what is the specific shade of red lip J. Lo is wearing? Asking for a me.
- Diego Luna looking good as hell, it must be said.
- Is it possible that I haven’t seen him in anything since…Milk?
- Is it weird that I have absolutely no sense of what happens in this movie from the trailer?
- Oh, Bill Condon, you wily musical-theater fox.
- My God, this is Chicago on benzos and I cannot wait.