Someone recently asked me about my childhood and amid all the happy memories of the wonder years, I recalled a few that I don’t often talk about. In these untold stories, I am an overweight child with low self-esteem trying to hide from mockery and cruel nicknames. And wondering if I will ever be more than just a target for insensitive humour.
Untold Realities of Bollywood: The challenges behind the Red Carpet spotlight by Jackky Bhagnani
One particularly traumatizing incident stands out when I look back. In 1997, a film called Mr. & Mrs. Khiladi was released and it featured Emmanuel Yarborough, an American martial artist, wrestler, football player and actor. He held the Guinness World Record for the heaviest living athlete and someone told me that the producers need not have spent so much money to fly him all the way from America when I was available! In fact, my father was told that if he ever needed a record-setting obese person in his film, he should just cast me. I can laugh about it now but as a young kid, this moment altered the way I looked at life. It gave me a glimpse of the flip side of privilege and prepared me for what was to come. I am no longer that vulnerable young boy but I understand that my surname cannot protect me from brickbats.
My father, despite being a successful producer, has always been very clear-sighted and impartial as well. He has played a decisive role in raising me as a person who never takes any opportunity for granted. When I told him that I wanted to be an actor, his first reaction was, “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? How do you expect anyone to give you a chance when you are over 150 kgs?” And that was the turning point for me personally. Even though I suffer from severe asthma, I set myself a goal to start a gruelling fitness journey. Losing 75 kgs was literally an impossible task but I got there. This taught me that nothing comes easy in life even to those who seemingly have more privilege than others.
These are a few of the personal struggles I have faced but even as a producer, I am witness to many untold challenges behind the glitter of show business. I can begin with giving you the example of my father (Vashu Bhagnani) who came to Mumbai with nothing. From selling sarees on the footpath, he built an empire and founded Puja Entertainment. And then after a long golden streak, he faced unrelenting commercial failure. It was quite a disturbing time for the family because apart from our home and a small office that we had, we lost everything at that point. It was very traumatic for me to see my father in such distress.
I watched him just sitting at home, deep in thought for over a week. And then the resourcefulness that has always held him in good stead emerged and he raised some loans to start a real-estate business. And that’s how I saw him and our family bounce back. This and many other experiences have turned me into someone who fights when the chips are down.
The point I am trying to make is this. What you see on the red carpets and the big screen is just half the story. There are unheard stories of pain, struggle, anxiety, heartbreak, blood, sweat and tears behind every triumph. What I have learnt in this industry is that the show must go on despite all the uncertainties. Everything is cyclical here and what goes up, comes down one day and vice versa.
My legacy is not just Puja Entertainment but the indomitable spirit that has built it. That is why today as a producer working in a volatile market where the creative ecosystem is going through a massive change, I know eventually I will find solutions. And live to tell another story and face another day with confidence.
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