[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Criminal Minds: Evolution Season 18 Episode 3 “Time to Say Goodbye.”]

“I’m still mad,” A.J. Cook says of that devastating loss for JJ on Criminal Minds.

It was in the second episode of Season 18 that JJ was shocked when her husband, Will (Josh Stewart), collapsed at home, then died. His funeral is held in the third, and it features a formidable performance from Cook as JJ tries to hold it together and remain strong for her loved ones before breaking while delivering the eulogy. It also includes the long-awaited return from Matthew Gray Gubler as Reid shows up to be by JJ’s side during the tough time.

Below, A.J. Cook discusses JJ’s major loss, reuniting with Gubler, and more.

This was such a heartbreaking episode.

AJ Cook: I’m sorry for doing this to you.

All the weight is on JJ, too, because she’s trying so hard to hold it together for everyone else, for herself, for most of the episode. And then she breaks during the eulogy.

What a time to break.

I know, but how much did she need to keep it together when she did and then also break when she did?

Well, I think that’s what JJ does. Her default mode is just, “Keep it together, keep it together.” And I think we kind of see a little glimpse — that scene when the girls are leaving the house and Garcia [Kirsten Vangsness] says, you’re the glue that keeps everyone together. And just her response right there says it all. She’s like, “What other option do I have?” That’s just how she is. But as they say goodbye, the door slowly closes and you slowly see her start to break just enough. And if you’re not paying attention to it, you almost don’t even see it. But it’s, for me, Joe decided to shoot — Joe Mantegna who directed it, decided to shoot the scene that way. And I think it is one of the most telling and heartbreaking parts of the whole story of her. She’s trying so hard to not break in front of anyone. But the irony is that all everyone wants is just for her to let it out. And that’s what Rossi says to her at the end. But that’s not how JJ rolls, but she’s going to have to learn. She’s going to have to learn how to cope.

How was filming the church scene and JJ finally really breaking in front of everyone and then talking to her sons and everything? Also because your sons are playing these roles…

It’s just, what are we doing? We’re so weird. I don’t know. Yeah, it was multilayered and a lot going on. A lot going on. Obviously, this one really hit home for us. I’ve known Josh forever. My sons have known Josh forever. Josh and my husband are friends. It was a really sad — it felt real. This was real for me. So, obviously, getting into character wasn’t all that difficult for me.

My biggest concern in all of this was my boys. When we finally decided that, oh, we were going to do this and we were going to shoot this. And Erica [Messer] was like, “What about the boys? Should we write around them?” And so I went and talked to the boys and they looked at me. They’re like, “What? Are you crazy? Of course we’re okay.” So my kids are very intelligent and emotionally stable, grounded people, and they get it. They understand that. And what people don’t see is after cut, they’re chasing Matthew Gray Gubler around the church and getting flung around and hitting up craft service, eating their fifth donut of the day. It’s really, really fun for them. But yeah, we were having to ask them to go to really deep, emotional place, which they did wonderfully.

The church scene was a lot because that was the moment where she finally breaks. And even in her breaking, she’s trying so hard not to break, which kind of just makes it even worse. I just think that Erica wrote this episode so beautifully.

And what you will continue to see through the season is just all of the levels and layers of grief. There’s so many, and they kind of gut punch you when you least expect it. And we’re going to see JJ maybe find some healing and find healing through some unusual places and through some unusual people. So yeah, it’s going to be an interesting ride.

Michael Yarish/Paramount+

We did get Reid’s return, great to see him again. How much did JJ need him there? Because we feel their bond and how clear it is and what they mean to each other through so little dialogue.

Yeah, and I think that was by choice. They didn’t need a monologue. They didn’t need a bunch of dialogue. It’s all in looks. And when we were in the conception phase of this episode, Erica and I — it would feel like something major was missing if we didn’t have Spence, it just would. It would feel weird not having him there. So I, of course, picked up the phone and called him and said, “Hey, explain what we were doing.” And he was just like, “Are you kidding me? Of course I’ll be there.” Like a true friend does. You show up in those moments. And we were so lucky to get him back. And yes, it was a brief moment, but it was so impactful and it felt so great having him there, just kind of felt like a homecoming. And my kids love Matthew and Matthew’s like my third kid. [Laughs] It was pretty cute. Seeing him back on set with everybody, it was pretty special.

You brought up JJ and Rossi, which was one of my favorite scenes of the episode because to hear someone who actually knows what she’s going through… We saw him go through that. Would she have listened to anyone else say that to her in that moment?

Yeah, and I think you see this desperate look in JJ’s eyes of, when he says, “You want advice?” She’s like, “Please, yes, you’re the one person I know, you’ve lived this. I know you’ve gone through all of the fears in your mind of like, did he know? Did I say it enough? Does he know I love him? I know you felt that.” So it was just such a beautiful — and shooting that scene was just, oh, Joe just melts my heart. I mean, we’re so lucky that we have him and that he got to direct this episode. I was in such good hands. But yeah, it was just such an honest, pure, true moment, that scene between those two people that were suffering. So yeah, that one was a good one.

And I love the stuff with JJ and Connie. And you had Linda Lavin on for one of her last roles. And they’re in a much better place by the end of the episode. So how does JJ feel about where they stand now?

I think she is relieved. I think that was really weighing on her because she’s a pleaser and she’s like, “Oh my gosh, his mom is upset and I don’t know, did I go about it the wrong way?” And she’s all in her head about that. So the fact that they kind of come full circle and things are okay, I think we needed to know that they were okay. And they are. And we were so looking forward to maybe having her back and seeing her with the grandkids. And then life just punches you in the gut. And gosh, she was taken from us too soon. She was so full of life. And gosh, I feel so honored that I got to work with her and get slapped by her, is one of the greatest honors of my acting career, was getting to work with her. She and I, we were just sort of on the same frequency. We worked really well together and she’s just such a beautiful, beautiful soul. So she will be missed.

We watched JJ and Will’s whole relationship, from meeting to this heartbreaking ending. How will you remember it?

He’s her rock. He is her rock. He is the one she goes to work through those things that she is pretending to be so unaffected by at work and throughout life. He’s the one that she would go to talk through it. And to have that gone is to have a piece of herself gone. Will was always such a — he’s just there, just like the constant. He’s the constant. And to have that gone is devastating for her.

But I love Josh. I love getting to work with him. We’ve known each other for so long. We’ve shot movies together. I have such admiration and respect for him, and I’m sad that I don’t get to do it with him on the show anymore. But this episode really felt like a memorial and a nod to him. That’s how much his character meant, not only to JJ, but to everybody and the viewing audience. This family was the American family for a lot of people. And so it’s just devastating to a lot of people that this is now taken from us. I know it is for me. I’m still working through some things, guys, as I’m sure you guys are. But we’ve always written to life on the show and this is what life dealt us. And we no longer had Josh and we had to move forward and somehow be able to still tell JJ’s personal life story without him in it. So I don’t know. We’re just putting one foot in front of the other and hoping y’all go on this journey with us and just know we didn’t want to go on this journey. I’m like, I’m still mad.

Well, also because on streaming, now you’re going home with the characters more.

I think we could have made it work in the CBS version. There were seasons where you didn’t see him, but that wasn’t the format. This new format is very different. A huge part of JJ’s character is her family. So to be told that, oh, we can’t go home with you anymore, is like, how do we make this work for this format?

And again, I think Erica Messer knocked it out of the park and pulled a rabbit out of the hat and was the unicorn that she always is and made it all work. And we’re not saying that it’s not going to sting and that it doesn’t hurt because it does. And it’s going to for a while. But we are now going to go on this new journey with JJ and there are so many women out there that do this that are single moms and have lost their loved ones, and they do it. So now I look up to them, they’re my inspiration. I don’t have to do this in my life. I have an amazing, supportive husband and I’m so grateful, and I really think long and hard about those women that have lost their significant others and are doing this alone. And now this is my tribute to them and this is me honoring them, this next journey here.

Also with this streaming format, we can see the grief process. And you started talking about that a bit, but how much is JJ going to be also throwing herself into work now going forward? Because they’re still dealing with Voit (Zach Gilford)…

And we’re still dealing with JJ. That’s her defense mechanism. She shows up and she works and she compartmentalizes and she will try to lose herself in her work. But you can only do that for so long. We definitely touch on a lot of the grief phases. And it is not like we shoot one episode and she’s gone through all of it and it’s tied up neatly with a nice bow. That’s not how grief works. So this is going to be something that we’re going to see throughout the whole season. And then beyond that. This never goes away. This now has shaped her into this new single mother, and it will continue shaping her as she now learns to work through life this way. So I’m excited to see what that looks like for her. It’s been a journey already, and it’ll continue to be a journey in Criminal Minds form.

I mean, I want to see her snap at Voit, especially the way he is now.

Oh, girl! Mmm….

Interesting.

I’ve said too much.

Criminal Minds: Evolution, Thursdays, Paramount+