More often than not, money has been a pain point in most relationships, no matter the generation. Our parents and grandparents may not have had the same money problems we do today, but even back then, couples fought over finances—and they still do.
Today, couples find themselves bickering over how many food delivery orders showed up in a week. Of course, we can’t talk enough about the e-commerce deliveries, the multiple streaming subscriptions, and frivolous expenditure on expensive phones and cars, because the flex culture is at an all-time high.
Accessibility – credit cards, one-click checkouts, app-based everything has introduced a whole new set of reasons to argue.
And as the following stories show, whether it’s loans, lifestyle splurges, or late-night Swiggy deliveries, money continues to test relationships in big and small ways. We asked eight couples to tell us about their biggest fight over money. This is what they said.
The loan debate
Divya Mathur (name changed), an IT professional living in Hong Kong, remembers one of her earliest (and biggest) fights after marriage. “We had taken a huge loan for our house in India, and on top of that, my husband suggested taking a small loan here in Hong Kong to manage personal expenses,” she recalls. “I wasn’t on board. I felt we should learn to manage our credit and CIBIL score better rather than rely on loans all our lives.”
Between expensive housing in Hong Kong, steep EMIs, and everyday bills, savings often felt like a luxury. “Even moving houses here is a challenge; it’s all so expensive. Where and how to save has been a constant point of debate,” she says.
The cost of convenience
For all the convenience e-commerce and quick deliveries have brought us, there’s no denying they’ve also quietly drained our wallets. A trip to the local mandi may no longer be necessary for something as small as a few chillies, but those instant orders have sparked more than a few household quarrels, just ask 31-year-old journalist Naomika Desai (name changed).
“Every day, we end up with at least five deliveries from Instamart or Blinkit. We’ll need just one thing, but to avoid the extra delivery charge, we keep adding more. And then there’s food delivery. We already have a cook who makes fresh meals, but my husband often craves ‘good food’ from outside. The home-cooked food lands in the bin, and we spend unnecessarily on takeout. It’s not just unhealthy, it’s been the trigger for some of our biggest fights,” she says.
When ambition clashes with everyday needs
For architect Shaurya Desai (name changed), money fights came from a different source: his entrepreneurial dreams. “When I was about to start my company, almost everything I had was going into it,” he says. “Whatever I earned on the side wasn’t really enough for daily expenses. Even small things like groceries or eating out would turn into fights with my partner.”
With so much of his money tied up, “the tension just kept building up between us. It made everything feel heavier than it should have. Yes, I remember breaking down a couple of times because it was all too much at a time.”
‘We don’t clash on the big stuff’
Some couples, though, find their biggest money fights aren’t about the future, but the present. “We don’t clash on the big stuff,” says Tamogni Das, a 35-year-old researcher at the University of Pretoria. “Our life goals are very similar, so we don’t argue about whether to buy property or invest. The conflicts happen over monthly expenses.”
Like many couples, she and her partner struggle when individual priorities differ. “Sometimes it’s about what one of us wants to spend on versus the other. We’ve realised we need to build better habits to stay financially disciplined.”
Different approach to money
Hiya Arora, a marketing professional, admits she and her partner often argue because of their different approaches to money. “I earn to spend on my experiences, travel, learning something new, even fun things. For me, money is meant to be enjoyed. My partner, on the other hand, earns to fulfil his responsibilities. He feels spending should be in control.”
No, and that’s not it. Hiya and her partner clash over something that an entire generation is racking their brains trying to figure out. “He can never understand why women’s clothes are so expensive. For him, a kurta worth Rs 1,500 is fine, but I can’t find anything decent under Rs 15,000–20,000 for a small function. He just doesn’t get it!”
Saving together or separately?
This seems like a legit and important question – should couples save and invest together or individually? For Anupriya Khanna, a social media professional, savings itself became a sore point. “When we finally decided to save up for a home, we agreed to save my salary and spend a portion of his. But that meant I always had to keep asking for money and explaining where it went. This used to be a cause of tension in our marriage. One day, I told him maybe we should save separately, so I wouldn’t have to ask again and again.”
What can help
It is not out of the blue for couples, irrespective of their age or generation, to have fights about money. However, they need to be tackled well. Abhishek Kumar, SEBI RIA and founder of SahajMoney suggests setting up some ground rules.
“Couples often find small tweaks go a long way: pausing a day before a big buy, setting aside a little “no-questions-asked” money for splurges, or just sitting down once a month to look at expenses together. None of it is complicated, but it keeps things honest, light, and less like you’re fighting on opposite sides,” he says.
At the end of the day, saving or investing isn’t about one person carrying the load, it only works when both pull in the same direction. Money will always throw up its share of arguments, but if couples can keep the conversations open and fair, those fights don’t have to pull them apart
– Ends