When actress Gautami Kapoor casually mentioned in a podcast with Hauterrfly that she wanted to gift her daughter a sex toy on her 16th birthday, the internet erupted. Some called it progressive, others branded it “inappropriate.” But beneath the noise lies a question many parents are quietly wondering: in an age where Blinkit delivers sex toys as easily as groceries, should teens be kept away, or guided through these conversations at home?
The new reality: Access is just a click away
“Given that early puberty is setting in these days, I feel 16 is a sensible age to begin honest conversations around sexual health and hygiene,” says Deebashree Mohanty, senior associate editor with a reputed media house.
For her, Kapoor’s statement shouldn’t be dismissed as outrageous. “The fact that sex toys are now just a few clicks away on apps like Blinkit changes everything. Access isn’t behind closed doors anymore, which makes it critical for parents to step in early. Otherwise, curiosity will lead teens down an uninformed path.”
Mohanty, who has a teenage son, admits she’s already laid the groundwork through talks about safe practices, boundaries, and consent. “It’s not just about the mechanics of sex, it’s about raising a thoughtful young man who’ll grow up to be a respectful partner.”
The legal grey zone
But here’s where it gets tricky: the law. Abhinav Srivastava, co-founding partner at GSL Chambers and advocate-on-record at the Supreme Court of India, explains the legal position.
“Under the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita, 2023, Section 295 prohibits the sale, distribution, or exhibition of ‘obscene objects’ to anyone under 18. While sex toys aren’t explicitly mentioned, Indian courts have often taken a conservative view of obscenity. A parent introducing a sex toy to a minor, even with good intentions, could technically fall foul of this law.”
That said, Shrivastava points out that the age bar was lowered from 20 (under the old IPC) to 18, aligning with the legal age of majority. “It reflects a recognition of adult autonomy,” he adds, “but for anyone under 18, the law is still not on the parent’s side.”
If law sets one boundary, stigma sets another. Dr Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist and founder of Gateway of Healing, says the outrage over Kapoor’s remark reflects more about society’s discomfort than the idea itself.
“For teens, silence or shame doesn’t protect them, it only pushes them to explore in secrecy, without context or safety,” she explains. “A conversation about sex toys isn’t about encouraging sexual activity. It’s about creating a space where a child feels safe to ask, learn, and understand their body without shame.”
According to her, sex toys can have a place in adolescent conversations—not as “must-have tools” but as a way to normalise self-awareness and remove guilt around pleasure. “The key is how the conversation is framed: not as permission or taboo, but as part of honest dialogue around safety, consent, and autonomy.”
The parental hesitation
Not everyone agrees. Child psychologist Riddhi Doshi believes the conversation risks moving too fast.
“As a parent to a 15-year-old, I wouldn’t proactively bring up sex toys,” she says. “My role is to teach about respect, consent, emotional readiness, and boundaries. If my teen stumbles upon the idea, I’d explain it as something adults use—but I wouldn’t go further, because premature exposure can confuse more than clarify.”
Doshi warns of potential dangers if curiosity isn’t age-appropriate. “I’ve seen cases where teens, in experimenting, used unsafe substitutes like vegetables—leading to real physical harm. At that stage, the focus should be on emotional intimacy, body changes, safe practices, and digital safety. Introducing sex toys too early risks reducing everything to just the act of sex.”
A safer alternative?
That said, both Mohanty and Dr. Tugnait point out that when framed correctly, sex toys may actually offer a safer outlet compared to early, risky encounters. “If it’s a choice between unprotected sex and private exploration, toys are the lesser risk,” Mohanty argues. But, as Dr. Tugnait notes, they must be introduced with guidance around hygiene, safety, and emotional maturity.
The bigger conversation
At its core, this debate isn’t really about vibrators and dildos. It’s about whether Indian parents are ready to talk about sex, openly, without fear or shame, with their teens. As Doshi points out, “We already struggle to talk about sex itself. Sex toys are a whole different league.”
So, should parents introduce their teens to sex toys? The answer isn’t black or white. Legally, the line is 18. Psychologically, it depends on readiness and maturity. Practically, the digital world has already opened the floodgates. What parents can do is decide whether they want to be silent bystanders—or trusted guides, when curiosity inevitably knocks.
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